Posted by: bellebelle | December 14, 2005

Figure Studies BLUE

I’ve made a silly mistake.

I had my Figure Studies II exam last Thursday. Joyfully, I look forward for the beginning of the term break. To my horror, I’ve found my exam sheets laid in my room yesterday morning.

Apparently, I brought my papers home.

Quickly, I went back to college. After submitting my T-Shirt Design, I headed to the staffroom. My lecturer joked “so I guess I’ll see you again next term.” I couldn’t bear it and tears dropped. In fact and rules, I am not allowed to hand-in late exam sheets. Because once I bring it home, I could have refined the work.

Thankfully, Way Chyuan (lecturer) believed that I did nothing to the papers. His trust comforts. However, he did not guarantee that it could be marked.

What will happen to my marks? Will I fail? Questions kept swimming in my head. I became very emotional and negative. Whenever I share this, all I could do is to reflect and cry. My eyes were heavy and teary, but I dare not fall asleep. I’m afraid that there’ll be another nightmare coming up. I asked for a goodnight kiss from daddy with a fatigue mind and drag myself to bed. I said to myself; maybe I could be distracted or devoted by doing something else. With a little faith and doubt, I flipped through the Bible.

Psalm 27:10
“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”

I see, my difficulties can become the means to experience God’s presence even more intimately. Fear and anxiety can be transformed into faith and peace. I see that, as God promises to supply the power to get us through the hard times.

Isaiah 41:10
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you. I will help you.
I will uphold you with my righteous hand.”

Worry erodes our faith and robs us of the joy of anticipating God’s faithful provision. And then, this rebukes..

Matthew 6:30
“And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow,
won’t he more surely care for you?
You have so little faith!

When I didn’t know what to do, God answers.

Matthew 6:34
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.
Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Psalm 55:22
“Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you.
He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.”

After reading the verses, I slept peacefully. The next day, I did what Way Chyuan ‘advised’, that is to play and enjoy as much as I can. I’m going back to college on Friday to obtain my results, to determine whether I’ve passed/failed. Hopefully I could pass smoothly. *fingers crossed*

Yesterday I cried for I do not know what to do. Today I cried for all the encouragements from God and those dear to me. Thanks for being here with me, love y’all.



  1. […] get over a series of unfortunate events like last year, why can’t I stand strong now? I found the tearstained post again… and remembered God’s […]

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