Posted by: bellebelle | December 21, 2005

of Brutal Behavior & Violent Elements

For the past few months, I have been dreaming of scenes that doesn’t relate to my life.

At last, yesterday I’ve got something related. I dreamt that I did not fail my Figure Studies II. It was a pleasant surprise.
I dreamt someone came to my doorstep, and I was so freaked off. It was a surprise as well, this time scary. Then I dreamt my youngest uncle came to relieve the awkward situation.

And why is it relatable?

1) Because I am at the cliff of failing my Figure Studies II.
2) Because Mr. someone annoys me with his sms.
3) Because I met my little uncle just few days ago.

Now, come to the story about my encounters with Mr. someone.

I knew him since the third year of high school, but we never had built a strong foundation of friendship. I thought he transferred from other schools, therefore I didn’t know him the years before that. But it was just my side of the story. On the other hand, he already took notice of me since my first year in high school. I have heard of numerous rumors, but I take no action to any of it. “It is simply childish of them spreading such news, why bother?” I thought.

There comes the day that I discover the founder of the rumors. Maybe he did not create all of it, but it sure brings me trouble. I have not confronted him, maybe I fear of making the situation worst.

I have phobia towards people who express their feelings with the wrong actions. Be it slamming the door, punch the wall, mumble to him/herself, throw things, yell, and speaking foul languages, whatsoever. That is not sane and it’s… scary.

I’ve seen Mr. someone mumble to himself and punch the table. He gets frustrated easily. His anger managements are seriously weak; he gets angry before evaluating the truth. It’s scary to see people going under this category, brutal behavior.

I know of someone else who falls in the same category. That is my uncle. Our relationship weren’t as bad as nowadays when I was a child. I remember I enjoy hanging out with him, eating ice-cream with him. When I am grown up, then only I realize how different he is in the family, hooking up with drugs. It is unbearable to witness him falling into sin, so deeply.

I caught him yelling foul words on the phone, and also times he express his anger towards the weaker person when he’s mad. When he need help, financial support, he changes tone. When there’s visitor, he also changes his behavior, that’s plain… scary.

There’s a period of time that I neglect going home. I don’t like to spend my afternoons with someone like him under the same roof. He’s like a timed bomb, I didn’t know when it will blast and for sure, nobody wants to witness that.

I’ve tried confronting him. I think maybe he needed some attention and love from the family. So whenever I cut fruits, I asked him to join the feast. And I have thought of ways to approach him. Again, when he face difficulties in meeting up his own ‘needs’, he gets frustrated, and everything ruins.

Dear friends, if you’re facing such difficulties, or if you fall under “brutal behavior”, seek consultation. Open up your hearts to talk and get ready to have a change. Be willing to listen to critiques so you would grow. As God have said…

James 1:19
“My beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

Ephesians 4:31-32
“Put away all bitterness and wrath and anger be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”

If you think you have a problem controlling your anger, pray about it. Forgiveness, peace and love demand more courage than striking a blow ever could.

Love is more powerful than hate. Thanks for reading, love y’all.


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