Posted by: bellebelle | January 9, 2006

Big Sister’s dream

I had dinner with mom on Sunday. My brother shared to us about his further studies plan(s). He’s in his final year of high school now, well, he should really start thinking about the future. I am really glad that he’s willing to think about the matter. So many kiddos have uncertain directions, and surely I wouldn’t want him to be part of them who leads a miserable life.

I was surprised that his 1st choice of major was Psychology. Wow, that’s indeed an ambitious plan. I remembered him saying he wants to enter the Hotel Managing field. Seems like there’s a change of plans, but he will still reserve it as a secondary choice.

No matter what it takes, I will be the big sister to support him!

Well, for me. Most people thought that I’m the artsy type. Yeah, but that’s not entirely correct. I have been involving from many aspects. My dad is in the advertising field, my interest in drawing was influenced by him. I often have my DIYs and I have self-learned website and graphical designing. I have accepted freelance designing jobs and am quite familiar with the working flow.

Apart from that, I have been serving as a student counselor during the years in high school, leading various societies like Red Cross and et cetera; I find victories to be able to involve in others’ lives. I dreamt of pursuing the psychology field. But I wasn’t allowed to go further due to family restrictions and financial problems.

Then, I received scholarships for further studies in the design field. Out of stupidity consciousness, I turn down all the offers. I am very happy for the offer, but if I were to stay at the other side of the globe and not having money to pay for my flight tickets to come back for entirely 4 years, it’s a big no. Besides, I wouldn’t want to risk my time in UK for something that I have as my secondary plan.

There was another offer from an international recognized design institution. 20 thousand Ringgit of scholarship, I… rejected. The campus location is the main concern. Of course I don’t mind traveling to Kuala Lumpur, but in order to get into the campus, it’s kind of dangerous as it’s located in the residential area, no bus routes and whatnots.

About other minor scholarships, let’s not talk about it. I get enough of all the comments and fuss.

Finally, I have made my choice to pursue my dream studies at The One Academy. I am at my 3rd term of the foundation year. In just a glimpse, I will have to make my decision to major in Multimedia Design or Graphic & Advertising Design. Of course, TOA also offers Illustration, Digital Animation as well as Interior Design.

To my horror, I did not pass my Figure Studies II, now that I am not able to continue with Illustration Fundamentals, I became kind of, emo. But yet, I didn’t know what to react when I checked my results. Blame others? Accuse that I have helped them too much and neglected my own matters? No. Question God? Asking why all these falls on me? No. I was rather calm and not even a single tear dropped. Nobody is to be blamed and questioned. If it were so, the very person I need to evaluate is MYSELF.

Thank the dear brothers and sisters who have prayed so hard for me. Knowing that it have been 2 tough months for me, they still stay by my side and kept me smiling. Thank my dad for being understanding and patient, for his love special reserved for me. Thank my lecturer for the piece of guava and also the comfort. Thank my fellow course mates who have shown concern. Thank Samantha for all the fruits. Thank Anjoey, Chris and Lee Ming for the hugs.

I need to stand strong! I mustn’t fall because of these trials and tribulations, for I have prayed to be surrendered. Love all those who loved me so so much, and love all those who are part of my life, and also those who are yet to come into the story.

(A) Try walking a mile in my shoes.
(B) Try walking the road with me.
(C) Try walking away from me.



  1. I’m very much sorry about the Figure Studies II. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. I understand that we’re imperfect human-being, prone to mistakes and errors, bound to limitations, all these lead to life’s suffering including emotional pain. But this is not the end, you’ve just begins.

    I know you are able to endure the trial with much courage (which is not the absence of fear like most people think, but the capacity to go ahead in spite of the fear or pain.) Do it and you’ll find that overcoming that fear/pain will not only make you stronger but will be a big step forward toward maturity, that is to accept the fact that everything that happens to us has been designed for our growth.

    Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving. Let go the past and head forward to better tomorrow by giving your best now. There’s never too late.

    So, all the best to your study. I’ll try walk with you on Gabrielle’s amazing life journey.

    The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the Lord upholds him with His hand. (Ps 37.23-24)

    PS: Forgives the poor little Way Chyuan :p

  2. Thanks for choosing answer(B).

    I'm very happy and thankful, for I am able to sort things out and keep walking the path. With all the love & concern, I feel very blessed to have people to share my stories, happiness and even burdens. =)

    I will get the chance to talk to Way Chyuan, alto he doesn't mind me ranting, but I think I need to let him know how grateful I am & that I'm not angry. Don't worry, I did not punch him & hopefully I can get more guava from him, hehe.

    A friend loves at all times, & a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)

    Thanks bro, your word comforts. *hug hug*

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