Posted by: bellebelle | May 16, 2006

I’m desperate for.. “Hey Girl, it’s Alright.”

Results were overall good. But when I check the 2nd column, my heart dropped and could not dwell with accepting what I saw and heard. Apparently, I flunked the same subject. I knew I was disappointed but I have not reacted. I said oh God in my heart so many times, I pray for a chill.

Yeah, I was definitely cool about it. Somehow I stood and stunned, I didn’t know what to do. Chill, I manage to stand strong until my classes ended at 7pm. Thank God I did not allow my weary heart to take over my energy level. I did well in class, was excited for the new course, friends, I was pretty alert and answered excellently. However, clearly I knew my heart cried because I wasn’t prepared for failure.

It’s alright, because it is just one happening. If I can get over a series of unfortunate events like last year, why can’t I stand strong now? I found the tearstained post again… and remembered God’s faithfulness.

During the other time I failed that subject, I cried. I did because I knew I will fail. I did because I was prepared to cry. My heart was prepared for all that. And I was strengthened so so much that I cried, because I felt the concern and care from everyone including our Heavenly Father.

I don’t have to go through hard times to get closer to God. Because not only on good times we thank God, we need to send gratitude to Him even when we were down in the drain. It’s easy to trust God when everything is good, even easier to blame Him when the situation turns bad.

If I were to retake the subject again, it will be my own fault. I knew I’ve tried harder, perhaps not enough. So, this time, not only I will try harder, but do the best I could. I shouldn’t have my heart overtake my head, to reckon that I will pass tremendously. This time, not emotionally, but be willingly strong as well. I will need to have the will to fight over and over again, for I can never underestimate the trial.

I will go through hard times, I will have bad days. Some will be minor, spill-a-Coke-on-your-shirt day. But other days will be emotionally draining. Even when I can’t see it, but the fact is… through my weakest moments, God is still close.

Every night before I closes my eyes, I would say, “Goodnight God.” I smiled. I’ve learned I can find good things in everyday. Some contain bad experiences, but every day is a gift, that’s why we called it the present.

Yesterday night wasn’t a tough one. I slept peacefully without much coughing and nose block. My weary heart aroused. But after the entire day of running here and there, I was physically worn out. I was so tired I switched off my cell phone and just doze off. I am clear that my heavenly father will arrange the blanket of comfort for me, therefore I can have a great rest without a heavy heart.

We all have days like this, don’t we? Oh, just remembered to get our emotional alarm fixed, okay?

Isaiah43:1b-3a
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

God promised to be with me when I felt overwhelmed. He will not let my spirit overwhelm me too much, that I could not step forward. When I go through hard times, I will not be burnt out as well.

a special prayer

Oh God, there are times I feel overwhelmed. It seems that life is one trial after another, and I just keep failing! Help me to get through these times, Father, and remind me that You are always there, no matter what. I’m desperate for You. Just hold me close! In your son most precious name I pray, Amen.

We will trip and stumble, but that will not make us fall. God gives us strength and hope. Many angels God has sent, they all have given me dosages of antidote.

The unexpected pot of Chinese herbs from my neighbor, the day before I collect my results.
The SMSes that encourages me before I collect results.
The unexpected cup of soya bean from Yan Feei, the time after I checked my results.
The 2nd lunch meet up with my good friends from my foundation year.
The unexpected offer from Sam and Caryn to patiently lined-up for the class replacement queue, while I had my Interface Design class.
The wonderful ladies which arranged my replacement classes.
The unexpected, loving, plus encouraging calls and SMSes from so many people after knowing my trouble.
Another unexpected bowl of chrysanthemum tea from Pei Sia, this early morning, before I came home and written this post.

All these are the angels God has sent. They are all beautiful and lovely. Amen I say.

My angels, I am here to assure you, I’m alright. All I need from you is a hug and telling me “Dearie, you’re alright.” I don’t want all the “You’ve done good enough“, “I’m proud of you” etc. I just want a hug and.. “Girl, it’s alright.

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Responses

  1. im so proud of u sister that u had grown so much in ur faith towards God.do u know when u r in trouble,ofcoz WE will try our hard to encourage u by showing Jesus's Love to u.we encourage u is one of the plan from God to let u not feel lonely when u got into troubles or else.

    for me this few week i was so blessed until i hav a new hand phone,cloth,branded bag,RM150 Bata Shoe & etc.i feel so blessed but one thing i realize in me is that im so pleasure right now untill i forget who bring me to life again n who is the one that die on the cross to save me.

    i feel so down when i was caught into this.but i will try my hard to always remind my self to remember the CROSS n God in my heart.jus wan to encourage u that keep ur faith deeply n remind urself always.May God Be ur Glory.Amen.

  2. Hi gabrielle! I love your blog. It’s real nice and sweet :)

    You’re truly a simple hearted sister! God bless you, sis! *hug*

  3. Hi Gab.,

    Hey, read your wordpress today. Sorry about your result. I know it is heart wrenching to see that big FAIL thing on the the paper. I do hope God sent you an angel to give you the comfort that you need.

    I really wish there is something I can do. If there is any, please let me know.

    In every failure, comes a purpose and the unspoken test. The purpose of which the event happen and the test of the will to overcome. Failing one subject is not the end of all things. To quit and give up is the real failure. To fight on, and the get that small window of opportunity to climb over and stand in awe of your success, that is the real victory. In life, some people have it real easy, some don't. But victory and success is not measure by the time, but the heart of the victor and the fight that he/she fought.

    Find courage to fight on, Gab. Then you shall realize that the victory beyond what you faced today is worth more than gold.

    Love,
    Terence

  4. deary~ I am truly happy to read your plot and knowing that you have a godly perpsective in this situation. I feel secure & encourage to know that you are fine. Truly, the failure is heart breaking. Praise God we always have each other in our life! To hold on to… to pick us up when we are down… to encourage us to move on in life… to love us just as who we are… THE BEST PART? We can love in return. Love you and add oil~~~

  5. Hey, it’s ok, it’s alrite. GaB fight fight fight. [ hug ].

    That’s the way. Just keep trying.

  6. Daniel: Thanks bro!! *hug hug*

    John: Remembered about 'not too little, for i will steal; not too much, for i will forget You' (Proverbs30:8-9)? God provide us sufficiently, which is ngam², he lays big dream & huge plans on our hearts.

    Terence: There IS something you can do! Read the ending of this post, seek and ye shall find. ;)

    Sheep: I thank you dear for the call you've made & shared to me about your schooling years. Very much the situations linked & very much you encouraged me. *love love*

    Ngai Yea²: hehe, you modified the PJ cheer. sweet & simple, lovely.

  7. Dear HooiMin,

    I was thinking back then wat you said..

    “It’s kinda complex.”

    Well, I honestly feel for your situation..
    As so many awesome encouragement was given in this comment, I’ll leave u smth short & sweet.

    “If there exists no possibility of failure, then victory is meaningless.” — Robert H. Schuller

    A good book to read : “Failing Forward” by John C Maxwell.

    If u want this book, call me. I can pinjam it to u.

    3 Cheers to Hooi Min.. Gambate!! Gambate!! Gambate!!

  8. Not too much 2 say…
    just…
    Be tough gal~
    Be happy all the tm ya~
    Coz we’ll oways b with u~
    *Hug*

    ur lovely Lou po…*muaks*

  9. Dennon: complex horr.. in mandarin this is called 哭笑不得 (not know whether to laugh or to cry; finding it both funny & annoying)..

    Matthew 6:34
    Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

    Yan Feei: Lou Po!! Miss you guys so so much! Jeevan is in my class' list, but I didn't see him anywhere.

  10. Wao,so suprise that so many ppl here…dennon,sheep,terence & etc.i feel like everyone is giving a good advice for *Gab*,fodsure u will feel warm enough to keep on fighting for God!!for me i got no much advice in ur situation,but wat terence say is right.the biggest failure is the one that stop to fight.foe me i had try hard in my job recently,although i got rebuke from my boss when i was wrong in working but i will try my hard to do it !!as long as i had try my best to it.i’ll not feel guilty on it,but rather use this trial to remind my self to continue to fight on!!i can say,without dropping u cant gain any OWN experince in ur life & now u drop,u can feel it not only hearing others share to u but rather ur ownself had tried it.Drop is not wrong,but is jus a part of life.


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