Posted by: bellebelle | July 12, 2007

Reality Check

reality is never a bed of roses


he was the typical ‘man in the family’
he worked and provided, he never stopped
“i provide, because i love you”
for her to feel loved, she just needed his attention
he gets distracted by commitments
she gets distracted by temptations
their love for each other drifted apart
she chose to leave
her closest people encouraged the wrong decision
leaving space to discriminate his defects
so, what about the cry from the young ones?


he was young and rebellious
anger operates from his veins
his actions hurts the family a million times
he tried changing and changing
but it gets back to square one
to where his addiction began
contempt hangs upon his back
but that doesn’t disturb, or bothers him
he cares only about fulfilling own desires


he said goodbye too many times before
his heart is breaking in front of her
much love needed to help break this silence
much tolerance needed to keep it warm
they don’t know if they have it even when they tried


media gives wrong information
people keep on giving in
not contented with their blessings
making wrong decisions
only visions of them living
not respecting each other
selfishness got them following the wrong direction
“the love of money is the root of all evil
which while some coveted afterthey have erred from the faith
pierced themselves through with many sorrows”

he runs after worldly possessions
with his health status deteriorating
he can no longer walk or speaks like an ordinary person
she’ll have to bear his liabilities
and there are children to think of
no longer love him the way she does
their young daughter
always pampered and spoiled
wonder how she will ever make it through this living nightmare
adapting the relocation after relocations
have she made any friends in the new place?
is she eating right?


he tried retaining
“decision once made, there should be no turning back”
her heart were hardened, bitterness planted
leaving behind the shared memories
wedding vows broken
children separates from their mother
nobody heard their cry
nobody embraced them when they needed that the most


as the children grows up
you barely hear them cry
they were made vulnerable
yet camouflaged courage

the girl knew how it feels to be ‘unwanted’, ‘discarded’, ‘given up’
she knew how it hurts in the past
she knew as she keep moving on, she needs to give and love
quietly she gives and quietly she shared
inside her big heart, she hid her insecurities
she could only cry under her pillows
nobody taught her ways to accept, to let go, to begin new
because she has not forget the pain
because she has chosen to refrain

the boy has a reserved heart, a bruise to try and hide
unwilling to share, unwilling to break the ice
he doesn’t believe in Christmas
talking to Santa never worked before
a gentle smile cover all thoughts, all fears
struggles with his injured heart
with layers and layers of scar and mistreated wounds
unwilling to forgive, unwilling to forget
he tried hard not to be bad
but it seemed meaningless

all she really want is someone to tuck her in
tell her “everything will be well taken care of”
all he really want is a shoulder to ride on if he wins
a shoulder to cry on if he lose

someone whose love will never end
all they really want is just a family
that’s all they really need


look what papa’s demonstrating
gambling is his second nature
next to prostitution and drunkenness
creditors came with intimidations
traumatizing the entire family
have he thought for the sake of the young ones?
will they mature or will they fall?
will they be another casualty of the parent’s behavior


the truth is swept under the rug
the father does crime; the daughter covers
as he slumbers the cops came
she was frightened, she hid as usual
nobody to talked to
she said prayers, pleading for forgiveness
“you reap what you sow”
she will never have peace
unless he stops and change


psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

thank God for the comfort.
it’s time to accept, let go & have a new beginning.



  1. At first I thought you are talking about your family… but when I almost finish reading I am not so sure anymore…

  2. :)

    everyone has their story to tell. i was only telling from what i saw, it’s not even the complete picture.

    despite adversities… there can be miracles, when you believe.

  3. was also pondering…were u writing about your own family

    Your last lines immediately reminded me of..

    “There can be miracles
    When you believe
    Though hope is frail
    Its hard to kill
    Who knows what miracles
    You can achieve
    When you believe somehow you will
    You will when you believe”


  4. That line, casualty of parent’s behaviour…
    We are actually are, in someways. All parents damage their children in certain ways, just that its the matter of how much they did.

    Yup yup ^^ everyone have a story to tell, but we should appreciate our own. Its a lifetime experience that no one else can go through like you. =)

    Time will pass and things will happen, miracles will appear in all different forms, be sure to look for it! ^^ It does happen!

    No matter what you must take care ya! cheers~

  5. well well… if you’d notice the structure behind the stanzas, you’ll discover what was i writing about.

    i have uncanny insight into individual and situations. therefore throughout the years, i was made able to observe all that i’ve written. i break them into parts & wrote them down, to keep a record.

    they seem sort of bleak to most of my readers, but if you see from another perspective… it’s actually not that saddening. it’s because i’ve decided to not be protective of my inner self, and so now i am released & blessed. :’)

    i chose ‘Reality Check’ to be the title, is to rebuke myself to not be indulged in this worldly territory. it is so true we often get so attracted by how the creation works & functions, to the point we forgot the amazement of the Creator.

    and at this moment, reality is simply so real, it freaks me out.

    the ‘casualties’ for that particular paragraph… it wasn’t about me or anyone dear to me, i wrote that from a witness’s point of view.

    but it came true yesterday. i passed by the place, getting strong feelings… it makes me feel uneasy, but i didn’t know how to explain such feelings specifically in words. so i didn’t want to talk about the intuition… discovering later that the mentioned papa passed away.

    i couldn’t even verbalize the tremble i have now.

    psalm 147:3
    He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

    i can do nothing but to thank God for the comfort.

  6. deep… XD but good to know you are well =) cheers~

  7. :)

  8. I can relate to the first piece so well. Having seen quite a few people drift apart because friends and relatives gave the impression that moving away was the right thing.

    I was also very surprised at the phrase he gets distracted by commitments . . . . . . it is so true that we often get distracted by commitments, and yet we worry only about the temptations.

    Nice post. Glad to have run into this blog while surfing the net.

  9. hey, thanks for reading!

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